The end is a new beginning.

When they played the military funeral honors at my Father’s funeral I felt like I was a character in a movie. It was just absolutely beautiful, and heartbreaking at the same time. This was the first funeral I ever experienced that was someone who was apart of me. 

My father meant the entire world to me, and I love him so much and I had to say goodbye, which was one of the biggest fears which was my biggest fear ever in life, I even looked back in my journals in 2006 and saw it. It was so hard to say goodbye to my Father, because I know he didn’t want to go because he loved us, but he had to go because it wasn’t fair to us to keep him on this earth.

It felt like I was losing the love of my life, my Father is the only man I’ve ever trusted. He’s always had my best interest no matter how hard-headed I was, and through every heartbreak I’ve ever experienced he kept a smile on my face whether he knew it or not. 

My Father taught me that there are good men in this world- even one who make mistakes can be good men. That’s why a Father’s love is so important, it gives little girls hope- if a man like my Father exists then there has to be good in men.

Without my Father I wouldn’t know my self-worth, and what I was capable of, he taught me to believe in myself and forced me to do so. No matter how much I cried or became frustrated he forced me to finish a task and he sat by my side until I did.

I remember the day I won of the ‘Young Authors Award’ in 4th grade for my book Freaky Friday. My dad sat by me through every page, and every word, and helped me type my book up on a typewriter. 

My Father loved me unconditionally and always wanted the best for me, he would support my dreams and seek out what was best for me- even when I thought what was best for me was the opposite of what he suggested. He didn’t budge. My Father refused to let me fail, and so did my Mother. I spent too many years disappointing him, but I also spent years proving him wrong. I hope, and I know that he passed knowing I became the strong smart women he made me.

Life happens for a reason and my path became so clear.The day of my Father’s funeral I got the chance I’ve been waiting for. A career in the industry I wanted to get in, a creative agency. I got the call before the start of his funeral, and after that call I smiled and looked up to the ceiling and said to myself.. ‘I know you are watching me.” My heart filled up with so much joy because even though he was physically gone I could feel him in my heart and around me. 

I’m blessed and words won’t even express it. Thru the week of the funeral was finals, and it was overbearing but I refused to let myself breakdown and fail. It’s not what I wanted, and it’s not what my Dad would have wanted. Any normal person in their right mind would probably totally have a mental breakdown through that week. It was the week of my birthday, the funeral was the day before, the week of finals but I made it thru.

Even our biggest storms create an ending…however you’re ending is just you’re new beginning. 2013 was probably the hardest year of my life…2014 has become a bittersweet best. I’m in the industry I want to pursue a career in, and I bought my first home. I experienced the most heartbreaking moment of my life and I’m still here. 

I’m blessed but I will always feel a hole in my heart. One day I will trust someone enough to fill it.

(He’s close.)

Rest in Paradise

Frank Marshell Jr, 1936 - 2013 <3. I will always love you forever & ever…forever ever ever. 

Astrology for the non-believers

At its simplest, astrology represents mathematical cycles of when to act and when to hold back.

That quote was from the owner of Astrology Zone, Susan Miller if you haven’t checked out your monthly horoscopes on her site- you SHOULD.

Many people believe astrology is a mystical force that determines your day, which it is not. Astrology helps you make choices, gives you a heads up of the potential turmoil you may be faced with.

Surprisingly many business people rely on astrology to make choices, however they most likely admit it.

Some astrology resources are crap and pure nonsense, however I’ve come across some that I constantly use as a reference and for enjoyment.

Everyone loves reading about themselves and the people around them.. so here are my favorite astrology resources. 

Internet Resources

Astrologyzone.com (Also has an application as well)

Astro.com

The DailyHoroscope Application

Books

Bedazzled To Understand a Male’s astrology sign.

Darkside Zodiac  Horoscopes are always telling the good side about you, this book does the opposite.

Sydney Omarr Day-By-Day Day-By-Day Horoscopes for the Year one of my favorites.

Believe in your failure.

Like any normal person nobody wants to come across failure, it’s a horrible fate but we all tend to come across failure it is inevitable. Failure is something I never handle very easy, it’s similar to rejection- I don’t like it and find a fool proof way to avoid it.

However the more failure I’ve come across, the more thankful I have become for it. Failure has opened doors to possibilities, and life-long friendships I am very fortunate and grateful for… and to honestly look back at how things turned out I have never regretted ANYTHING in my life that has failed.

All my life, well teenage life all I wanted to do was be the perfect trophy wife for a successful man.. and relationship, after relationship it FAILED. Why? Because my destiny was to be who I am now. An intelligent, entrepreneur who is aspiring for more than being someone who caters to her man with no career of her own. Failure brought me to this conclusion, not success. If those relationships succeeded you know how unfulfilled and unhappy I’d be?

VERY.


Failure has also led me to one of my best friends, and one the greatest times of my life. I really wanted to attend a college in the city, and I ended up being denied acceptance- and it was heartbreaking because I LOVED this school. I was so upset, I was stuck in my boring hometown and it was just depressing…. Until I was offered a job opportunity where I met my closet friends and had the time of my life (No I wasn’t a stripper). I wouldn’t take back the chance to meet one of my best friends and the craziest times of my life EVER… those are moments that stay with you FOREVER.. (I love you girls & C!)

Whether it was a failed relationship, business, friendship, goal, or dream.. When failure hit it was heartbreaking.. but in the end I’m glad it happened because  it was either broken and couldn’t be fixed or it wasn’t the path I was destined to be on.

So when you give something your all and it fails, it is never the end… failure is just a sign that it’s not your path right now. There is something always better.. no matter what ever happens in life if you keep moving, and keep going towards the light at the tunnel.. your life will ALWAYS get better- you just gotta know how to weather the storm.

Pick your poison.. De-stress yourself.

Being stressed doesn’t always mean there is negativity or sad situations going on in your life.. you can be stressed from a new baby, planning your wedding, getting ready to graduate, getting ready for a big event… the list goes on..so you can imagine everyone has something going on in their life that is pulling them in 5 different places, when we are only ONE person.

Sometimes we can constantly feel like we are pulled in 5 different directions at once and wear many hats…

When that isn’t possible try to find these alternatives to de-stress yourself. I decided to share my list with you ladies…

Yoga

People always said yoga helps with relaxing your body, and I just could never believe it…until I was forced to take a 1 unit P.E. class @ the community college I was attending..

I took yoga and it is an EXCELLENT way for you to de-stress your mind. My body was more relaxed and this was something I could do for

1. Free

2. @ home and quickly.

I would leave yoga class with the music turned down, and no desire to cuss people the hell out on the road.

Now if you know me, then that’s a hell of a de-stressiorizer. Whatever you wanna call it. Lol

REAL Massages

When I say real massages I don’t mean foot massages for $25 dollars, they are alright but they WONT de-tress you, feels good if you want something quick. But once you have a real massage at a real spa… like loving a black man, you won’t go back. These are my favorite, most costly, and a little time-consuming way of de-stressing… however this is my favorite. 

Make yourself happy

What makes you happy? Does buying a new outfit make you happy, enjoying your favorite dessert maybe? After an a stressful school week I like to indulge myself in a food I’m craving and enjoy ever bit of it.

Exercise (yeah, I saiddit) 

I was never a gym rat, but I did play soccer until I began attending college & working, and It’s a great away to release anger.. now I tend to use the gym to release stress and it will be a greater reward when you look good as the result.

Music

Listening to Jay-z was my favorite stress release, something about music is just so therapeutic… 

Funny Movies


Nothing can cheer you up more than a funny movie that forces you to laugh. Indulge yourself in something that takes your mind off what you have to do for a bit…

Remember ladies, devote sometime for your well-being and happiness. 

You deserve it.

Free Island

WHAT WOULD BEYONCE DO?

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Feeling like you’re about to lose your class & cool over someone talking shit or being bitter? Has an ex who has pissed you off and said horrible things about you, a rachet female/male spending their extra time worrying about you constantly with subliminals you clearly notice towards you?

In life you can only take so much before exploding into wanting to lose your cool. Before that person cuts you off on the road, before you wanna body slam somebody who gossips constantly about you, before you wanna socially check someone for the world to see it… ask yourself. WWBD? What Woud Beyonce Do?

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THIS. When you want to submit to one of your social rants, or go off on somebody, just take the extra time out of your day to acknowledge someone who is bitter. Ask yourself, how would Beyonce handle this? With no response, and with class.

Do you see Beyonce responding to Sandra Rose’s constant psycho babble slander? Or anyone calling her ugly, or apart of the illuminati that we all blindly fail to correctly read about.. (which is another rant…).. but does B even take the time to rant on her facebook, or even acknowledge them?

Hell nah.

When have you ever heard someone taking the time out of their day to talk shit or worry about what you are doing with your life doing BETTER than you? 

Don’t worry.. I’ll wait. 

Ladies.. and my fellas reading this before you even attempt to give some acknowledgment to people who don’t deserve it think about Beyonce’.

Until then,

Free Island

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